Category: Uncategorized

How to have a useful argument

  Often when we are angry enough to argue with someone we are more interested in letting them know how we feel than in focusing on a particular outcome, and that’s often how fights play out (you’re an asshole! No, YOU’RE an asshole!). It…

FAMILY FEUDS: How People behave doesn’t always tell us how they feel!

We have all been subject to the behaviour of people we love or respect that completely throws us.  How can they be so rude? So uncaring? How could they be so abusive? So angry? So harsh? How could they be so dismissive? so cold…

ADDICTION: 6 thoughts on how to manage when you love an addict in active addiction

Addiction, insidious bastard that it is, does not only affect addicts. It can be like a nuclear bomb in a family, flinging destruction in all directions. Loving an addict is very hard work sometimes. Addicts are so much more than their addictions, but it…

ADDICTION: an insidious, sneaky bastard

One of the things I work with regularly is addiction. Addiction can come in a range of shapes and sizes but there are some principles that remain the same, regardless of the poison in question. We all have the tendency to form habits, but…

DEPRESSION is a bitch

Depression plays havoc with your mind. It distorts your reality and if that isn’t enough it can evoke huge feelings of shame and even self-disgust.  The internal self-critic becomes humongous and powerful making you feel less in control and more powerless. 1. Depression’s Bullshit…

PARENTING: 4 things to do to with a tantrum

We’ve all been there: it’s not easy dealing with a wailing kid of any age when we are so overwhelmed and so frustrated that we feel ready to start wailing ourselves. Whining kids also trigger the same bits of the brain that the sound…

SELF CARE: How to say No (kind of)

It’s surprising how difficult it can be, to utter the word”no”.  Such a little syllable can cause so much inner turmoil! I speak again and again in therapy about setting boundaries, and yet even I struggle sometimes to refuse people things. But it’s so…

COMMUNICATION: Why you should have important conversations in person

I feel like social media adds a layer of complexity over everything. Looking at everyone’s perfect lives on Facebook or Instagram can be lethal if you’re feeling down. It’s easy to feel that everyone else has a perfect life: pictures of holidays, sleepy happy…

PARENTING: How do you raise body-confident kids?

When I first became a mom I read every article I could find. I looked at tons of information, especially around emotional development, and lots of them made sense, and lots of them were confusing. One of the confusing ones was about EQ stuff…

Self acceptance and the Inner Bitch: 4 ways to feel better

It’s a well known cliche that you cannot love others unless you love yourself. I’m not entirely sure about that one, but what I would like to add to that is that it’s incredibly difficult to accept love from others unless you can see…

ANXIETY: Comforting the internal child

One thing I realise I talk about nearly every day in therapy is anxiety. It’s a way more common challenge than one may imagine, mainly because we are all born with the capacity to feel anxious, and with good reason. Anxiety is the feeling that motivates you to study for a test, or cross the road briskly and alertly, or run from a threat. It becomes a problem when it starts to run away with you: sometimes your brain misidentifies small or moderate threats as huge ones, and causes you to respond with a full scale body reaction to something as small as a missed meeting or some else’s dirty look. Read More

Giving yourself Away

How many roles do you fulfil every day? How many times do you feel that you are so busy tending to others’ needs that you don’t have time for your own? How often do you take the time to do the things that you…